Restaurants that make you wait for the chance to sit on an uncomfortable seat at a shared table where you will have to scream above the music — or eat in silence — are not doing all they could to make customers of a certain age feel welcome.
… all of New York below 42nd Street has been taken over by kids, and that their idea of going out to eat resembles some kind of blood sport? They have no sense of mortality, these young people. It’s nothing to them if restaurants make them wait all night for a table. They’ll stand up knocking back $16 cocktails for hours as if there won’t be a price to pay in the morning.
Their bodies are still limber and lean, curse them, so when these kids are finally shown to a seat, and it turns out to be bigger than a laptop but smaller than an actual human lap, they can wedge into it without hearing anything inside creak or snap. The seat (O.K., it’s more like a stool or a bench or a tree stump or maybe an anvil) will offer no lumbar support, but still they won’t wake up the next morning feeling as if they’d been lifting file cabinets all night.
So, these uncomfortable conditions (alongside really loud music) have brought out the young to the hottest restaurants. Maybe classical music institutions should take a page out of that book? Who wants to fall asleep next to grandpa in a comfy red velvet seat when you can prove your manhood in more dangerously alluring locales?
So bring anvils into the concert hall (they’ve been there for years), toss out the silver tops, serve drinks, play really loud music, and watch ’em climb over each other.
No other market chases after the old. Besides, 45-54 year olds are showing steep declines in their arts participation, which is not necessarily going to pick up when they’re older. Are we really to the place where older folks are dropping off and we still can’t market to the young? Let’s see in a few years….