Rebecca Black: The Secret Interview

Here – exclusively – is the newly discovered transcript of Rebecca Black’s songwriting session with Ark Music Factory.  The teen sensation met with the artistic force that is Ark Music and together they brought music to an unprecedented new level.  Here is the official record of that momentous occasion.

Ark Music Factory: OK Rebecca, are you ready to be a star!

Rebecca Black: Totally!  And please, call me Rebby.

AMF: You got it.  Now tell me what you want your song to be about.

RB: Well, ideally I’d like to comment on the political changes in the Middle East, or the rising costs of health care in my community.  Or you know what, it so doesn’t matter!  I just got this awesome new eyeshadow at Sephora, and I wanna wear that all the time in the video, is that bad?

AMF: Love it, it’s in! OK, now what do you like to do for fun?

RB: Um, ride in a car, walk around with everyone smiling at me, text, and read Herodotus in the original ancient Greek.

AMF: Great stuff kiddo, we can use that.  Now tell me about your singing.  How many notes can you sing?

RB: I’m sorry, notes?

AMF: Um, yes, pitches, sounds, the things that make a song different than a drone.

RB: Oh! I have to do that?  I so thought you guys took care of that.  But I think I can sing like three or four notes.

AMF: Three or four, that’s fantastic!  Way more than some of our other clients, believe me.  Our songwriting slaves chained to their desks in Bangalore can bang something out in a day.  Now what’s your availability for a shoot?  How about next Friday?

RB: Hmm, Friday, Friday (checking calendar), I gotta get down [to the library] this Friday. Now let me think, yesterday was Thursday, Thursday… today it is Friday, Friday, so tomorrow would be….

AMF: (pause) Saturday, and Sunday comes….

RB: … afterwards. Got it!  Next Friday would be fun, fun, fun, fun.

AMF: Great! Well, we’ve got all we need here Rebby, and I can’t wait to embark on what I’m sure will be a fulfilling artistic collaboration.

RB: I, I, I… so excited!


About thousandfoldecho

Everyone likes classical music. Not everyone knows it yet.
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